The 10 dos and donts of networking you need to know

The 10 dos and donts of networking you need to knowThe 10 dos and donts of networking you need to knowNetworking is a necessary evil but when used for the forces of good, its an amazing tool that ignites opportunity through relationship building. Learning how to do it well is a skill set unto itself and one that takes practice. Most of my business mantras dont come from Kid Inc. but with regards to networking, I completely agree with him Lets just be honest. Lets be real.Here are a few dos and donts to help you get through your next networking event.1. Dont be afraid to introduce yourselfWhile it can be intimidating to roll up on someone and departure a conversation, its often necessary. There is no shame in admitting that bum rushing your way into conversation isnt your favorite approach for relationship building. Sincerity often goes a long way so be honest and acknowledge your discomfort. If youre from the cool and confidant school of networking then know what you plan to say to e ngage your audience.2. Try and be a friend firstDont go in for the kill and start with your elevator pitch. The me me me approach is never a big hit Genuinely be interested in whomever you are speaking too. Most people love to talk about themselves so start there. Ask questions about who they are, where they are from and what they do before you hit em with the glory that is you.3. When sharing info about yourself be sure to keep it concise yet interestingHave the basics ready but make sure it doesnt sound scripted. Talk with passion and confidence but make sure its an inclusive conversation and not a sales pitch.4. Keep it short and sweetIf communicating via email or social media messaging it is important to keep it short and sweet. Copy-heavy outreach is usually skimmed or wholly ignored. The subject is as important as the text in the body. A creative subject gets your email opened and read.5. Bring a wingmanSometimes having a friend or business associate at your side that knows yo u well allows you to play off each other and makes the conversation a little mora natural and informal. AND NEVER FORGET YOUR BUSINESS CARDS6. Do something to make yourself memorableA funny story, a quick anecdote or a seemingly unrelated question about your conversation partners life will make you standout and give you a chance to follow up via email and reference your own originality. A little humor and wit can go a long way. This is especially important if you are at a networking event where everyone has similar goals and lots of conversations are happening.7. Look for commonalityIts great to find a parallel interest that you can bond over. It doesnt matter if its work related or totally inane and random. Whether its a mutual passion for Fetty Wap, a love of DIY crafts or a commitment to binge watching Homeland, finding common ground is a great way to solidify yourself in the hearts and minds of whomever youre chatting with.8. Dont be too thirstyIf you sense that whomever youre s peaking to isnt interested gracefully bow out. Its like dating, its way better to be the ghoster rather than the ghostee.9. For networking in the online space dont be afraid of the cold pitch.Especially if you can find a way to engage with someone that will prevent it from feeling totally random. There is no shame in doing a little research without taking it to stalker-ville. It makes you seem prepared and shows that youre not interested in wasting anyones time. You are reaching out for a reason.10. Make sure you follow up.Follow up in some capacity a few days to a week later. Keep the conversation going with new questions and interest so your relationship can evolve. Make a plan for a future meetup.This article was originally published on Create and Cultivate.

stop putting your salary history on your resume

stop putting your salary history on your resume stop putting your salary history on your resume A reader writesI was very curious to see what you thought of this document that I found off of a job listing on usajobs.org entitled Resume Tips. I find it very odd that they recommend to have salary and hours listed for every job performed.The specific job I ended up applying for required the hours for each job and volunteer activity listed. I wasnt quite sure how to format that nicely while leaving other important details on there as well.Well, it looks like theyre talking about applications for federal jobs, which are a whole different ballgame and not at all representative of normal resumes.Federal hiring is so different and comes with such odd requirements that one day we will hear that the federal job application process now requires that you submit a complete list of all pets youve ever had and their birth dates, and that it must be presented in iambic pentameter.Federal hiring is n ot like other hiring.However, Im going to use this as an opportunity to say loudly to everyone else STOP PUTTING YOUR SALARY INFO ON YOUR RESUME. It does not belong there.Other things that dont belong on your resume the weekly hours for each job (this is another weird federal jobs thing, if its being required at all) the reason you left each job the anthroponym of your manager at each job each employers address reference informationIf you are applying for a federal job or in some other weird situation where unusual information is being required on your resume,include it wherever it looks neatest. But know that it is not normal and not a thing that you should carry over to applying for other jobs.

Certified Systems Engineers Are in High Demand

Certified Systems Engineers Are in High Demand Certified Systems Engineers Are in High Demand Certified Systems Engineers Are in High DemandSystems engineering integrates all engineering disciplines and specialty groups for a project into an efficient, streamlined process that smoothly takes the project from concept to production to operation, meeting all the business and technical goals of the project. Systems engineers are in high demand around the world and professional certification gives them a competitive advantage. Systems engineers work closely with program managers to ensure the requirements of all relevant stakeholders are met in a balanced way in the realized system solution, says David Walden, president and principal consultant for Sysnovation LLC and certification program manager for The International Council on Systems Engineering (INCOSE). They also ensure that risks have been properly handled and all of the necessary life-cycle considerations have been taken into account. As development efforts continue to stretch beyond both organizational and country boundaries, the skill platzset of the systems engineer becomes even more valuable.Systems engineering is a relatively new discipline, getting its start with military and space programs in the mid-1960s. INCOSE was formed in 1990 and has grown to over 8,000 members in over 50 countries. INCOSE introduced its professional certification program in 2004 and currently has about 1,250 certified systems engineering professionals.A Competitive FieldSystems engineers are in high demand by industry and government. A systems engineer translates technical needs into an overall system architecture that creates the best operational capability at the most affordable cost, states Paul Martin, Serco-NA systems engineering community of practice lead, INCOSE representative, and University of Maryland-Baltimore County (UMBC) Training Center instructor for preparation for the INCOSE certified systems engineering p rofessional test. As a project proceeds and goals or needs shift, systems engineers have to determine the difficult but necessary cost, schedule, and performance trade-offs to keep everything on track.Systems engineers are essential for the technical management, development, and acquisition of complex technology systems. The systems engineer is the translator between program management and the engineering domains being used on a project, says Martin. The systems engineer can relate to the engineers the concerns of the project manager in terms the engineer can understand, and also speak to the manager of the engineering concerns in terms the manager can understand.Getting CertifiedCertification provides benefits to both the individuals that get certified and their organizations. We are landlandseeing INCOSE certification being used in numerous job advertisements and we are beginning to see our certifications being referenced in requests for proposals, says Walden.The INCOSE certifica tion program provides three levels of credentials expert systems engineering professional (ESEP), certified systems engineering professional (CSEP), and associate systems engineering professional (ASEP). These certifications are designed for increasing levels of leadership, accomplishments, and experience.Several schools also provide systems engineering certification, such as the University of Arizona and University of Washington (UW). The UW certificate program is a one-year, 13-credit program that offers a series of integrated lectures that focus on systems engineering, finance, project management, and supply chain concepts. It is enhanced by a seminar series called Developing the Global Perspective. The program concludes with a design project where the students design a systems-based solution and a viable business case.The graduate certificate that UW offers is a path to obtain a body of knowledge without having to pursue a full masters degree, says Christina M. Mastrangelo, asso ciate professor of industrial and systems engineering at the University of Washington. It gives students an opportunity to either earn a credential for work they currently do or to enhance their current skill set to pursue other opportunities.Earning INCOSEs CSEP certification isnt easy. Candidates must demonstrate real-world experience against 14 activities via a lengthy application, as well as supply three references to verify that experience. They must also pass a two-hour, 120-question, multiple-choice exam.A lot of my students in my CSEP Preparation course at the UMBC Training Center tend to focus too much on the exam, says Martin. My advice is to concentrate on filling out the application and getting your three references first. Its more time-consuming than youll realize and you need to spend that time to get it right. Once your application is approved youll have plenty of time to study for the exam.INCOSEs multi-level certification program helps both individuals and organizat ions break through to the next level, providing an internationally recognized competitive advantage. Professional certification through INCOSE formally confirms your systems engineering qualifications, says Walden. It is an effective way for your colleagues to recognize your systems engineering knowledge and experience.Mark Crawford is an independent writer.We are seeing INCOSE certification being used in numerous job advertisements and we are beginning to see our certifications being referenced in requests for proposals.David Walden, president and principal consultant, Sysnovation LLC, and certification program manager, INCOSE

4 Things To Do After You Ace A Job Interview

4 Things To Do After You Ace A Job Interview4 Things To Do After You Ace A Job InterviewSo you think you nailed it, do you? You scored a hole in one, a home run, a grand slam of an interview? Your conversations were productive, the interviewers excited and the hiring manager mentioned that you should watch for good news, all but ensuring the gig is yours. In short, you aced that job interview. Congratulationsbutnow what?Everyone dreams of having that perfect job application and interview experience that ends in a lucrative offer in a career of your dreams. The reality is, however, that even a great interview can be undone by the actions candidates take after the fact. Success doesnt end the moment you walk out the door after a successful sit down. With that in mind, here are four things to do after you ace a job interview to ensure you capitalize on your win and end up hearing that ever so magical youre hiredSend Out Those Thank YousJust because the job is all but yours doesnt mean y ou have a free pass to skip the typical applicant niceties. Thank you emails or letters to each and every person you met with during your interview rounds is an essential and expected part of any hiring process. This isnt just an exercise in etiquette, either. Sending thank you emails shows attention to detail and demonstrates that you are able to not only follow up but also that you are professional and have sound communication skills. If its a close call between yourself and another candidate or if there is even one person on the interview kollektiv who had concerns, the lack of a thank you letter could tip the scales in a less than favorable direction.Dive Into ResearchSo youre confident that youve got the job, right? Well, why not give yourself a leg up and start researching for your new position. Bust out that job description and delve into the individual tasks youll be asked to perform. Check out the companys website and locate the team or individuals youll be working with to gain much-needed insight. As a bonus, researching other similar positions will prepare you for any needed salary negotiations. Just because youll be getting your foot in the door doesnt mean youre guaranteed to keep it there. Do your research and make sure your second and third impressions are just as good as the first.Dont Forget to Follow UpAs well as you think you did during the interview process, there is always the chance that you read the room incorrectly. Maybe one or two team members had misgivings about whether youd make a good corporate culture fit. Maybe you were the first applicant and your skills and resume are fading from memory while other candidates go through the interview process. No matter how much you think you aced that interview, follow up is critical to ensuring that success translates into a job offer. Much like sending thank you emails, a follow-up email after a week or so will demonstrate your continued enthusiasm for the position as well as keep your name fresh in the mind of the hiring manager or recruiting contact. Keep your follow up polite and offer to send any additional information that may be needed. Avoid pestering or annoying follow-up emails timed too close to interview day or sent repeatedly and youll look like a candidate who is ready, willing and able to get up and running in the new position.Keep Sending Out ApplicationsFile this last piece of advice in the dont count your chickens before theyre hatched category. Regardless of how well your interview went, many things could stand in the way of you landing the job in the end. Job requirements and staffing needs frequently shift, especially in larger organizations. The position that was available could have been eliminated or filled internally even if you are the perfect candidate. To avoid putting all of your eggs in one basket, continue to apply for other available positions while youre waiting to hear back and following up. It certainly cant hurt your chances if you ke ep looking and you never know when a bigger, better opportunity may be just around the corner. Until youve signed the offer letter, keep your irons in the fire to help ensure job-search success.

The Nuiances of Fill in Resume

The Nuiances of Fill in Resume Fill in Resume Features Still, theres a need to explain frequent gaps, and gaps that last for over a month or two. You must be very detailed about your experience in order to trigger more questions for you and boost your odds of getting hired. The reply is you dont will need to bring attention to it directly. There are better ways to verstndigung im strafverfahren with the issue. Its true, you will continue to be in a position to edit and more. Volunteering is an alternative. Who knows, you can return How to complete a resume. Better still, it highlights all the vital info and is not difficult to skim. Have a peek at these examples to select which format is right for you. When interviewed, you may be asked about it, but most interviewers avoid the subject. The guideline is to try to keep your resume to a full page. Appeal letter could be utilized in scenarios where youre seeking some change or rectification or in case youre browsing fo r some form of assistance. An appeal is a written request to estimate your file again with additional information that you provide that may help determine the decision. The response is yes in the event you need to. Needless to say, theres the income portion of working through a short-term agent. Many temp agencies will supply you with any training that you may need. After all, youre searching for employment as you wish to earn income, maybe not to invest it first Posting your resume is takes only two or three measures and when you do it once, you will find its a whole lot easier to do the next moment. These resumes must be a modest standardized. Separate resumes are obtainable for assorted disciplines. Heres What I Know About Fill in Resume It is possible to leave every one of them as is or customize a small bit to be able to bring a personal touch to the presentation of your candidacy. Provided that you use the proper info, you are going to wind up with a professional d ocument that will impress any hiring manager. In order be in a position to obtain a project which you should possess a resume. You should distitel the ideal fill in resume blank. The Argument About Fill in Resume Thus, its necessary to talk about the occupation related expertise in detail. With just a little creativity and some thought about your top abilities, it is possible to find a wonderful position and commence your work history. Highlight your on-the-job abilities and any training experience you might have received previously. It helps to incorporate skills that you have on a restart. It isnt fatal to have just one employer listed on your resume in a lengthy career. Based on your industry and occupation, the firm might search for a professional creative resume. If youre in the movie industry they would like to understand what skills youve got and exactly what youve done, although your school history wont be quite as important. If your employment history still looks somewhat thin, it may be a fantastic concept to revamp your resume entirely. Understanding Fill in Resume Otherwise you may wind up hurting your work search. Submit the same resume for each and every job. Your work is definitely to understand what demands there arestill. If you believe that youre fit for at least 1 job there, you must create a targeted resume for each endeavor. Therefore, the letter ought to be somewhat precise and truthful. It should be your own. It has to be written in such a manner that it should convince the employer about the subject. Before even trying to utilize your cover letter to spell out work gaps, be certain you understand what your cover letter is intended to accomplish.

The Single Best Approach You Need to Be Using for Research Resume Writing Science Exposed

The Single Best Approach You Need to Be Using for Research Resume Writing Science Exposed When you are searching for your first (or next) role in Data Science it helps in the event you know what youre looking for. Its necessary for you to learn as much as possible about the organization and the job. To begin with, in the event that you abfluged your career thirty decades ago and prior to that cut-off did some incredible things or worked for well-known businesses, they ought to be included. In addition, you can find out mora about science careers on Monster. A graduate research assistant needs several core kinds of skills, so be certain to touch on your various regions of proficiency. It is an important function for every business regardless of industry. Inquire to see whether the institution does have a preference and utilize it. Adding keywords naturally from the work description can help ensure it is much easier for recruiters to seek out your resume faster. Start brows ing job postings and consider the jobs youre interested in. Resumes are just a page in length (if you dont own a variety of years of experience in a given field), and space is at a premium. Research Resume Writing Science Many of the remarkable scientists of previous centuries had no scientific level, in large part since they were the trail blazers. In case you decide that the degree isnt something you wish to highlight, there are strategies to de-emphasize it. If youre still debating whether to remain in academia or not, its even more important to start early. Science is an extensive subject with diverse branches covering every facet of human life and the surrounding atmosphere. Generally speaking, a resume should be no more than two pages long if you dont are in possession of a massive number of presentations or publications which need to be listed. If you did research with somebody, it is going to be expected they write one of your letters. Therefore, cover letters are occasionally too dense. Just because youre emailing your cover letter does not necessarily mean it must be any less formal. Generally, such experiments are performed in hospitals. There are various forms of jobs out there for people interested in research. Create guidelines of what you would like to do in your research. You just cant slacken off when it regards research. Writing the ideal research assistant resume objective or summary can be challenging. Show recruiting professors your abilities and experiences are awarded and appreciated by other people. You wish to have a compelling CV thats well-organized and simple to read, yet accurately represents your greatest accomplishments. A CV for a current Ph.D. graduate will probably be about 3-5 pages. What You Should Do About Research Resume Writing Science Beginning in the Next Four Minutes Since you can see, as a way to construct a superior objective statement, you must have a certain objective in mind. Some skills are in demand throughout the board, but others relate to your specific research area. New research and simulations coming from the area of artificial intelligence are painting a very different picture of succeeding. A group of experts advocating for you ur whole team is focused on your targets, and is devoted to your success

Definitions of New Resume Templates

Definitions of New Resume Templates There are a lot of creative resume templates. It isnt hard to customize in Illustrator. The creator is quite fast and intuitive to use. Our creative templates make it possible for you to stick out from the crowd. Fortunately, there are various publishers around whove created incredible resume templates for fast editing and formatting in Word. There are a couple of points to reflect on to make an educated alternative. Its light and simple to download on 1 quick step. Sometimes all you will need is a traditional style template thats clean, clear and right to the point. Resume is the very first thing when employers get to understand about you. Get exploring and perhaps you are spotting something which you feel is going to earn an effect on your job seeking process. Plenty of job seekers even dont understand where to get started. There are three kinds of resumes, each with its own benefits and pitfalls.The times you ought to use a creative r esume are fewer than when you ought to use a formal resume. As your principal advertising piece, your resume says a good deal about you. Men and women use an assortment of resume templates which use different sort of design approaches, but ultimately its always likely to come to the simple fact that your resume should convey a very clear message above your skills, your experience, and also why youd be the ideal candidate for the position. Also think about whether there is anything else you can do to assist your resume stand out. New Resume Templates Features On the web site you will discover samples in addition to CV templates and models that may be downloaded at no cost. Numerous documents are available here in order to direct you through the recruitment approach. Think about it as the personal letterhead near the top of your professional resume. Utilizing Word, you may create your own templates for just about any application, including resumes. Introducing New Resume Tem plates Simple doesnt need to mean uninspired and boring. Utilizing a template can cut the quantity of time youve got to spend formatting your document, which makes it possible for you to concentrate on adding content and polishing your resume. Resume templates may also help you format your information when providing unique visual flair that will assist your resume stand out. Utilizing a resume template is getting an acceptable and smart practice for several explanations.Just insert the info you require, and thats it. To do this, you will need to organize that information first. By utilizing a resume template absolutely free of clutter, youll only consist of relevant info. Provided that you use the perfect info, you will wind up with a professional document that will impress any hiring manager. A basic resume is also simpler to read. You may also download absolutely free templates from our Resume Library to get going on your best resume. Almagreta Resume Templates are made for effortless navigation. The capacity to edit your resume from any place in the world is a remarkable asset that you are able to utilize to assist you land that upcoming great job. Getting the most of a resource that wont only help save you time, but is shown to elevate your odds of scoring a work simply is logical. Some focus on objectives, but others place an overview of your skills at the very top. If you wish to secure your fantasy job, then youll require a resume that showcases your abilities and experience quickly. After you have prepared and submitted your resume to an employer the hope is you will be requested to attend work interview to talk about further whether youll be suitable. Its cool that youre trying to find a job to have some money, but you need some issues with resume. Ensure you didnt miss whatever could cost you the job that you dream about When youre working at your existing job you arent stressed, seems like everything goes smooth and with no troubl es. Every work applicant knows the way to compose a resume. The initial one is about outlining your abilities and your availability in a specific job position. Also make certain that you tailor the document to the job youre applying for. So if youre planning to make an application for a new job in 2019, you have to have a foolproof plan to construct or update your resume.

The Top 10 Occupations the Government is Hiring Now

The Top 10 Occupations the Government is Hiring NowThe Top 10 Occupations the Government is Hiring NowToday, I have two more top ten lists based on USAJOBS information for your consideration. Both offer insights into the government hiring market and are important parts of the decision-making process for most jobseekers. And, while yesterdays list was all about which organizations were likely to have open jobs, todays pair recognize that the organization doing the hiring matters little if theyre not looking for someone with your skill setor theyre hiring somewhere that youre just not prepared to live. Which is why the USAJOBS data also conveniently breaks down by top location and top occupation. Without further ado, then, here is the first of those listsTop 10 Occupations In Demand by the Government Information Technology Management Specialist 2399 postings to date in 2010 Management and Program Analyst 1693 postings Administration Program Staff 1611 postings Nurse 1353 postings Medi cal Officer 1329 postings Office Clerk / Assistant 1040 postings Business and Industry Specialist 1015 postings Contract Specialist 1015 postings Engineer, General 845 postings menschenwrdig Resources Specialist 828 postingsRead the full listRead the Top 10 Locations for Government Hiring in 2010For more insight on government careers, check out the Vault Guide to Government Agency Careers.Posted by Phil Stott, Vault.com

5 tips for overcoming social anxiety

5 tips for overcoming social anxiety5 tips for overcoming social anxietyYourmind races. Your palms sweat. The words dont come out of your mouth right, if they come at all. Weve all been there at one timeor aleidher. And some of us get it worse than others, and mora frequently. Social anxiety.Nobody wants to look stupid or be embarrassed. But since its leid like your life is on the line,why is social fear so bad? Theres an answerWhile its hard to remember what a broken arm feels like, its quite easy to remember all the times you feltmortified in public. So its not surprising that research showssocial pain is actually worse than physical pain- because you can relive it over and over againIndividuals can relive and reexperience social pain more easily and more intensely than physical pain. Studies 1 and 2 showed that people reported higher levels of pain after reliving a past socially painful event than after reliving a past physically painful event.And the old saying is true oftenthe fear itself is much worse than whatever youre afraid of. Research shows being afraid youre going to lose your job can be worsethanactually losing your job perceived job insecurity ranks as one of the most important factors in employees well-being and can be even more harmful than actual job loss with subsequent unemployment.And the advice you usually get on how to deal with fearis dead wrong.What happens when you suppress your feelings?Your ability to experience positive feelingsgoes down - but not negative feelings. Stress soars. And your amygdala (a part of the brain closely associated with emotions) starts working overtime.FromHandbook of Emotion Regulationexperimental studies have shown that suppression leads to decreased positive but not negative emotion experience (Gross, 1998a Gross Levenson, 1993, 1997 Stepper Strack, 1993 Strack, Martin, Stepper, 1988), increased sympathetic nervous system responses (Demaree et al., 2006 Gross, 1998a Gross Levenson, 1993, 1997 Harris, 2001 Richards Gross, 2000), and greater activation in emotion-generative brain regions such as the amygdala (Goldin, McRae, Ramel, Gross, 2008).But theres a way to deal with fear and anxiety that neuroscientists, the ancient Stoics and mindfulness experts all agree on. And its not that hard.Lets get to itHow To Make Fear Less ScaryThere are a numberof specific techniques for reducing those awful anxious emotionsMindfulness recommends noting troublesome thoughts like fear. Recognize and accept them to let them go.Neuroscience advocateslabeling. (Frankly, this is a lotlike noting but backed bysome PhDs and an fMRI.)Stoicism has premeditation. Thats when you ask, Whats the worst that could happen? and realize its not that bad.Neuroscience also recommendsreappraisal.This is reinterpreting your feelings with a new story that makes them less scary.A random bunch of tips?Nope. So what do they all have in common?You gotta use your brain. You gottathink.Some might reply,Iamthinking, Im thi nking about all the awful stuff that could happen if I embarrass myself. In fact, I cant STOP thinking about itBut youre not thinking. Yourereacting. Fight or flight.Like an animal would.Look, ourancestors didnt spend millions of years climbing to the top of the food chain so we could respond the saatkorn way a lizard does. We have this shiny new prefrontal cortex and canuse it to fight fear.In fact, you already have and you probably didnt realize itEver had so much going at once that something which would normally scare you justdoesnt? Thats not random. When your thinking brain - the prefrontal cortex - is highly engaged, itslams the brakes on feelings.And you can use this trick deliberately. Anything that gets you thinking activelycan smother anxietyresources that are used to perform a cognitive task are no longer available for emotional processes. Accordingly, people can rid themselves from unwanted feelings by engaging in a cognitive activity, such as doing math equations (Van Dillen Koole, 2007), playing a game of Tetris ( Holmes, James, Coode-Bate, Deeprose , 2008), visualizing scenes such as sitting in a double-decker bus driving down the street (Rusting Nolen-Hoeksema, 1998), sorting cards ( Morrow Nolen-Hoeksema, 1990), responding to colored lights ( Christenfeld, 1997), or filling out bogus questionnaires ( Glynn et al., 2002).(In fact, this effect is so powerful, I recommend youdontthink too hard when youre feeling good - because itcansuppress those happy emotions just as easily.)Nowwere talking about social anxiety, and its not like you can start doing your taxes at a party to feel less anxious.Thats okay. We can do one better. Whatshouldyou think about?Your fears. Yeah, its a cliche, but its true. Face your fears. Actively. With your brain switched to on. Neuroscience research shows when we avoid scary things we become more scared. When you face your fears they become less frightening.FromResilience The Science of Mastering Lifes Greatest C hallengesBrain imaging findings suggest that extinction may involve a strengthening of the capacity of the PFC to inhibitamygdala-based fear responses (Phelps et al., 2004). Several approaches to treating anxiety disorders such as PTSD and phobias have been shown to be effective in promoting extinction. In essence, these therapies encourage the patient to confront the fear and anxiety head on.And thats what each of the techniques I listed do in one way or another they engage your thinking brain to take over for the emotional brain and get a handle on what youre feeling.You can try them and binnensee what works for you. Or you can put together a fear-busting cocktail combo to really drop the hammer on that anxiety.(To learn the 7-step morning ritual that will keep you happy all day, clickhere.)Alright, now that we understand the underlying brain trickery, lets look at how each methodworks so you can crush that social anxietyNoting/LabelingGive the feeling a name. (No, dont callit Phy llis.) Just tell yourself what you are feeling. Yes, its that stupidly simple.Im feeling anxious.By naming it, youre shifting gears in your brain. Its no longer an overwhelming feeling from your emotional amygdala anymore now that it has a label your prefrontal cortex takes the reins.FromThe Upward Spiral in one fMRI study, appropriately titled Putting Feelings into Words participants viewed pictures of people with emotional facial expressions. Predictably, each participants amygdala activated to the emotions in the picture. But when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.With noting, some mindfulness practitioners like to take it one step further and instead of saying, Im feeling anxious, they say, There is anxiety. This sounds really weird but it makes sense through amindfulnesslensyou are not your thoughts.Just becaus e something goes through your head does not make ityou. Its a passing feeling one of a zillion you have each day. No need to identify with it.(To learn how to beat impostor syndrome, clickhere.)Okay, you slapped a label on that feeling and dampened it. Bravo. But how do you really engage your thinking brain and take fear-squashing to the next level?Stoic PremeditationThoughtfullyobserve Phyllis - I mean, your fear. Observe your fear - and actuallyincreaseit.Imagine the worst that could happen. You are stripped naked in front of everyone and begin farting showtunes.I know, this sounds terrifying. But imagining the worst isespecially useful with social anxiety. Why?Is someone going to stab you to death for saying something stupid? No. Do you live in a tribal society where social ostracism means you will be exiled and starve to death on the savannah? No.So youre not really afraid of what other people will do- youre afraid of the feelings it will cause in you embarrassment, shame, et c.News flash you have control over the latter. Theyre in your head. And nowhere else.Visualize the worst and youll see its really not that bad. How do I know? You laugh about some of the embarrassing things youve been through in the past, right? So I recommend you juststart laughing now.(To learn how to make friends easily and to strengthen the friendships you have, clickhere.)You hit yourself with the worst possible scenario and you can handle it. Awesome. But you might be anxious that youre still going to feel anxious. Fine, fine.We got another arrow left in the quiver.And this ones powerful. This guy is the tactical nuke when it comes to dealing with fear and anxietyReappraisalMost people think their feelings are realer than real because theyre so visceral. We have a hard time denying what we feel.Well, thats wrong. Just because you feel it doesnt make it real. Feelings arent a satellite dish receiving signals of eternal truth. Feelings come from beliefs. Change the beliefs and t he feelings change.FromYour Brain at Work Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day LongIn one of Ochsners reappraisal experiments, participants are shown a photo of people crying outside a church, which naturally makes participants feel sad. They are then asked to imagine the scene is a wedding, that people are crying tears of joy. At the moment that participants change their appraisal of the event, their emotional response changes, and Ochsner is there to capture what is going on in their brain using an fMRI. As Ochsner explains, Our emotional responses ultimately flow out of our appraisals of the world, and if we can shift those appraisals, we shift our emotional responses.You say something at a party. Everyone starts laughing. You think theyre laughingatyou. How do you feel?Hold on, my bad, turns out their laughingwithyou. Now how do you feel?landsee?Change the story and your feelings change.Harvard researcherShawn Achortaught bankers to reappraise stress as a challenge. What happened? HeresShawnWe watched those groups of people over the next three to six weeks, and what we found was if we could move people to view stress as enhancing, a challenge instead of as a threat, we saw a 23% drop in their stress-related symptoms. It produced asignificant increasenot only in levels of happiness, but a dramatic improvement in their levels of engagement at work as well.Similarly, when I spoke to aNavy SEAL, anArmy Rangerand aSpecial Forces instructor, they all said that reappraisingtheir arduous training as a game - rather than something that would make or break them - was key to getting throughit.(To learn the science that will make you better atflirting, clickhere.)Yay, were done Actually, not yet. As the old saying goes, An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Rather that treating your fear, wouldnt it be better to not have it in the first place?Whats one of the primary sources of this anxiety? And how can we ni p that in the bud?Dont Be An Opera SingerWhen youre feeling anxious in a social situation a lot of thoughts are going through your headWill I bore them? What do I say? What if I embarrass myself? How do I impress them?See a pattern here? Your brain sounds like an opera singer warming upME ME ME.When I spoke toRobin Dreeke, former head of the FBIs Behavioral Analysis Program, what did he say was key to connecting with people?Suspend your ego.Heres RobinEgo suspension is putting your own needs, wants and opinions aside.And Robins right. Dont worry about impressing or not-screwing-everything-up.Researchshows when people are meeting someone new they dont evaluate the interaction by what you said - they evaluate it based on how well they thinktheyperformed.So do you see the problem here? Why so many conversations are awful? Because your brain is goingME ME MEand their brain is goingME ME ME. You need to break the cycle. So tryYOU YOU YOU.When youre focused on yourself, you areliterallyb eing self-conscious. And that breeds the fear and anxiety. So focus on the other person. Its simple listen to what theyhave to say andask them to tell you more.It will make the person youre talking to happier.Studiesshow people get more pleasure from talking about themselves than they do from food or moneyTalking about ourselves- whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter- triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or moneyAnd itll probablymake you happierResearchers found that happy people are ten times more likely to be other-oriented than self-centered. This suggests that happiness is a by-product of helping others rather than the result of its pursuit.I know what the super-anxious are wondering right nowBut how do I reply?I mightsay something stupid.Allow me to reappraise this for you and make it a game. Below is theempathy scale researchers use to score replies. More points are better.ViaThe Art of Conversation A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure6 Shared feeling/experience5 Confirmation of an emotions legitimacy4 Pursuit of the topic3 Acknowledgment2 Implicit recognition (but changing the topic)1 Perfunctory recognition (autopilot)0 Denial/contradictionAim for 5s and 6s.5s give people emotional validation. And we all crave that. When they talk about feeling scared, you respond,That sounds terrifying.And 6s are what turn acquaintances into close friends. Sharing feelings.Same thing happened to me. It was awful.And thatshow you start to go fromME ME MEtoYOU YOU YOUto - finally - US US US.(To learn how to be loved by everyone, clickhere.)We have covered a lot. (And you have been an excellent listener - you didnt interrupt me once.) Lets round it all up and learn how even if everything goes completely wrong and you do embarrass yourself, that can be agoodthingSum UpHeres how to overcome social anxietyUse yer brain When youre thinking more, youre feeling less.Note or label Give the emotion a name and it wont overwhelm you, Phyllis.Premeditate Whats the worst that could happen? It wont. And its not that bad.Reappraise Change the story and your feelings change. Stress can be a challenge. Adversity can be a game.Dont be an opera singerMe Me MetoYou You YoutoUs Us Us.In aclassic study, researchers had subjectsevaluate three job candidates. One had lousy scores, the other was nearly perfect, and the third had the same rankings as the perfect one but during the interview he spilled coffee all over his suit.Guess who they thought most highly of?The fumbler.Why? Heseemed more approachable. Hewasnt so perfect as to make people envious. Being too impressive can backfire. Perfect is too perfect.So put your brain to work fighting that fear. And get out of your head and intotheirhead. Youre not the only one who feels socially awkward. Help others feel relaxed and youll find you relax too. And stop trying to impressYou dont need to be interesting. You need to be interested.Join over 275,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulThisarticlefirst appeared onBarking up the Wrong Tree.